Suzette BrawnerGeneral

angry-lil-girl-1058710Why can’t I remember going to the grocery store at 5 o’clock on Friday afternoon is not the wisest of choices? Every time I go in with my list to conquer, I either leave frustrated or laughing. I’ve decided laughing is much more fun.

One Friday I had a lapse of memory and walked through those automatic doors for three things: toilet paper, apples, and mozzarella cheese. I snagged the first two without anyone blocking the aisle or having to dodge a shopper on her phone.

When I rounded the corner of the dairy case, I sensed this would be a laugh as I leave Friday. There stood a young mother in a standoff with her looked to be five-year old. “I know it’s yogurt, but it has candy in it and too much sugar is bad for you,” the worn out mom said.

The little girl suddenly stopped crying and yelled, “Well, I’m going to hold my breath until you say yes!” She took a huge gulp of air and glared at her mother. When she started to turn red, the frantic mother turned around and said, ”Do something, please!”

I looked behind me to see who she was talking to but no one was there. She frantically continued, “She does this all the time and I have to say yes. What should I do?”

“Honestly?” I asked. “Yes!!” she said. The girl’s face was really red now.

With my back to the girl I whispered, “Walk away. She will exhale. If she’s really stubborn she’ll pass out and automatically start breathing again. I promise it’ll work.”

The brave mom turned her basket around and headed for the butter. The little girl gulped for air and shouted at me, “You are crazy! You almost made me die!”

“Well, that’s what happens to little girls who disrespect their moms,” I calmly said, picked up the mozzarella and walked away.

Walking to the checkout, my smug smile faded as I realized I’m just a grown up version of an obstinate little girl. I hold my breath too, waiting. Waiting for trouble to pass, people to change, and opportunities to unfold. I need to remember breath holding doesn’t make things happen faster; it just gives me a headache